it’s very peculiar standing in front of someone you used to love, someone you knew every single thing about, and realizing you don’t even know who they are. so much has changed.
“Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remainsleft behind in the heart of the one you loved, a piece no future lover could ever get. That piece holds innocence, the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error,that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong.”
i just want to run.
Sometimes, when I think about how easy life would be if I hadn’t given everything up, I can’t breathe. There’s some bullshit quote about doing what scares you the most because apparently that’s what you really want? Whatever, I think I just want to go home. I can’t breathe.
my last night at home as a lil’ kid..ever. hello real world. hello adult life. big inhale, hold, long sigh. goodbye youth and innocence and simplicity. tomorrow morning begins a new chapter. i’m moving away to find myself, fall in love, get a job and some money, make new friends and conquer the big city. it’s scary, and i’m nervous and anxious and yes, terrified, but i can do it. mind over matter, one foot in front of the other. i am strong, i am smart, i am confident and i have all the support i need to conquer the world.
plus…i can always come home :)
“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships were built for.”
i believe in fate, yes. i believe that everything happens for a reason, that we all have our places in life and that we cross paths with opportunities and people to grow, learn and change us in some way. i believe that what’s meant to be will happen and what’s not, well it’s just another aspect of life you have to accept. sometimes what doesn’t happen turns into the perfect opportunity for something else. but to some extent, i believe fate is for the lazy; those that don’t want to try and don’t want to put themselves out there. you can’t fight fate, that’s for damn sure. but you have to have some motivation to at least put yourself out there and accomplish what you can right? or maybe the go-getters have that attitude due to the fate of their genetics? oh gosh, it could just go on and on. but fate is not meant to make us into passive people just waiting for the world to play them their cards. we must do, and see, and accomplish, and try. and for that, fate will reward us in the most beautiful ways possible. it may not always be sunny, but the rain can’t last forever.
Don’t waste your time asking why such an amazing thing could happen to you, just let it happen. Don’t doubt that you could ever be loved, just let yourself be loved. If you don’t believe you’re worthy of anyone’s time, then you won’t be. Take yourself seriously and others will too. “Why” is such a wasteful question. Why? Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. that’s the only answer you can have. Accept it.
